I thought I should share some of my thoughts with you. Like the thumb rules I use myself.
I used to be a jeans, and jeans only, girl, but now I wear skirts almost every day. I started with simple black ones, but as time went by I got a little more brave, and now I happily wear colors and patterns. This is one of the reasons I like my H&M skirt so much. It's very simple, which doesn't make it to messy with patterned tights.
If I wear a lace skirt, or my patterned dresses, I try to stick with just plain colored tights. I know some people are really good at mixing patterns with patterns, but that's just not for me. If I'm wearing bright colors or a lot of black I like to use dark gray tights, or the color called Nearly black. This makes the look a little bit softer, and for the black clothes it brightens it up.
For party I usually go for 15-40 den with a shiny finish. Falke, a German brand, is my favorites for this since they don't ladder. If you get stuck in something there might get a small hole, but the whole tights isn't destroyed so you are most likely to survive the night without an extra pair. A pair of 15 den tights even survived my sequin dress! And I can use them again!
For work or everyday use I prefer 50-120 den, 40 if I wear a more fancy dress. I like more coverage at theses times, and they are usually more solid. Also our store is quite cold so it's nice to wear something a little thicker.
I rarely choose shaping tights. If I wear a tight dress where I think it's needed I much rather go for controlling panties, like Spanx. This is because they give a better effect and it doesn't make me limited in my choice of hosiery.
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